NEW YORK TIMES OPINION

New York Times Opinion

It shouldn't be a surprise, given that 54 out of 100 senators are over 65. But what should surprise you is that the nation's median age is 38.9. You must understand that leaders and leadership are most effective and powerful when led by people of their own generation or one just above. Rarely, if ever, below their age. And rarely two to three generations above. That's just the way it is. The reality is you are too old to be a political leader.

And at your age, Mr. Biden, Mr. McConnell, and Ms. Feinstein, you should expect to encounter the Western cultural view about old age. Ageism is real. You and I live in a nontraditional culture. A culture where everything changes. A culture where scientific materialism is treasured. A culture where staying young is a devotional practice.

Age is treated much differently in a traditional culture than in a nontraditional culture. In a traditional culture, growing old is considered a ritual journey—a time of reflection, spiritual enhancement, contribution, and sharing of understanding and experience. Old age in these cultures has a Welcome mat at the door.

In a nontraditional culture like ours, growing old is considered a curse—a time of worthlessness, alienation, estrangement, and uselessness. Whether true or not, old age is seen as a time of rapid decline and loss of power. When seen that way, you are believed to be that way. No Welcome mat here. You are more inclined to find No Trespassing signs.

In a traditional culture, there is a rite of passage from older to elder. This passage does not exist in our nontraditional culture. We go from old to really old. Without cultural recognition and belief in the value of an elder, there can be no acceptable rite of passage open from older to elder.

So, where does this leave you, Mr.Biden, Mr. McConnell, and Ms. Feinstein?

People in old age, like you, are stuck. You are stuck in your previous identities and well-protected positions. Who you have been is all you know how to be—no wonder you hold on so tightly. There is no other future for you but what you have already become.

But now, at your age, you are hitting the malicious forces of ageism - marginalized, isolated, discounted, discarded, and made irrelevant. You are becoming an anachronism. The younger generation sees you as "getting in their way." You are becoming a liability.

You defend against these forces by acting as you always have in the past. But that always-already way of being is rapidly losing its power. What else can you do but cling, grasp, and tightly grip who you have always been?

But if elder were a future for you, you would have a future of opportunity, not manipulation, avoidance, and struggle for control. As an elder, you would be valued. You would be held in high regard. You would be able to contribute your wisdom, altering the very nature of conversations in your respective parties.

Wisdom is the quality of being wise, the power of judging correctly and following the soundest course of action based on knowledge, experience, understanding, etc.; good judgment – sagacity, prudence, and unbiased discernment. You each have these qualities. And you know, down to your bones, that your parties could use a strong dose of wisdom, equanimity, and compassion. Both your parties have lost their way.

An elder's wisdom sees further into the past and deeper into the future, allowing them to understand more clearly the present. An elder can see the consequences of people's decisions and actions and make them understandable to the people making decisions. You have achieved this wisdom but cannot deliver it as a leader.

So, I suggest you consider Mr.Biden, Mr. McConnell, and Ms. Feinstein to become recognized elders for your respective parties. But first, you must realize that as an elder, you must retire from the role of leader.

Elders are wise, benevolent, patient, compassionate, tested, experiential knowledge, and humanity-driven. In contrast, leaders are vision, purpose, goals, and performance-driven. Leaders are the driving force. Elders are the steering force. Elders bring a presence and a higher wisdom that shifts who people are and how they relate to each other.

Look what Desmond Tutu and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission accomplished. That's an elder at work.

Eldership would curtail your party from being further highjacked by uncommon sense, hate, righteousness, blame, fault, and immaturity. It would cool down the flaming egoism. It would generate greater harmony and common sense among colleagues.

In conclusion, Mr. Biden, Mr. McConnell, and Ms. Feinstein, if you saw your next calling as an elder for the good of your party and the country, you would surrender your current leadership position and move into becoming an elder.

As an elder, you would bring forth and select new leadership with the backbone of being principle-centered, core value-driven, and humane. You would guide your respective parties to be all they could be regarding values, principles, and commitments to the country's good, not their own good. You would all realize your legacy.

As an elder, power and control would no longer be required. Wisdom, benevolence, compassion, and truth-telling would be your charge.

Knowledge combined with experience turns into wisdom, which we now have little of in our politics today. Assuming the role of the elder, being seen and heard as an elder, both in your caucus and in public, would be consequential to the nation to see and hear.

So, becoming an elder, Mr. Biden, Mr. McConnell, and Ms. Feinstein, is a credible and reasonable next step to steer yourself, your parties, and the people toward a better future.

Bottom line, if you want to change your party, change the tone, stop the blame and fault game, tap down the emotions, halt the foolishness and egoism, and bring your parties back to focusing on genuinely serving their constituents, not themselves, your next step for you is to become elders.

If you need help transitioning from older to elder, get in touch. We're very good at helping late-age professionals transition from older to elder.



Dr. Marc Cooper

Chairman of Elder Council

The Contemporary Elder Institute

P.S. Forward to your representatives, Federal and State, and any person or entity looking to impact our politics.

For me…

This Sangha generates a context that enables me to have, do, and be a contemporary elder, living with and inside a higher purpose. 

The Sangha is a community, actually a tribe, of pilgrims on the same path, where we practice self-awareness and higher consciousness, opening channels to higher wisdom and spirituality.

The Sangha is an existential and metaphysical platform for me to stand on in growing old to deal with the unavoidable physical, emotional, and mental issues of late aging.

The Sangha enables me to be with those usually avoided areas of my life, aging, death, and dying, so I lose the fear and trepidation.

The Sangha allows the past to pass. Regrets disappear. Resentment melts. Forgiveness of others and myself occurs.

The Sangha creates heartfelt relationships among its members, where full acceptance, compassion, love, and humor prevail.

I participate with the Sangha in its retreats and twice monthly online interactions.

I am happier. I have more freedom. I am more fully self-expressed. I am more tolerant. I appreciate life more. I am more patient. I am much more in the moment than in my mind. I smile more. I laugh more. I love more. That's what the Sangha provides for me.

More detailed information about the Sangha go to www.requestingwisdom.com/the-sangha

The Sangha's overarching purpose is to have every Sangha member realize and experience what I am now experiencing for themselves. 

Thanks for the question.

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